By Paul and Nora Williams
Based on a paper presented at the annual conference of the Society for the Scientific Study of Religion (SSSR) Houston, Texas, October 25, 1995

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches carefully over her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her, saying, "Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all." Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-30)¹

Introduction
Traditionally, women have been considered to be the "weaker" sex, yet it is their qualities of love, concern, compassion, sensitivity, intuition, and understanding-deemed weaknesses by some-that are very needed in our troubled times. Learning to respect, nurture, and properly use the finest qualities in people-and the wonderful differences between them-is a key to unlocking the storehouse of human joy, creativity, and fulfillment. When war, violence, and terror are everywhere on the increase, great strength and inspiration are found in manifestations of these so-called weaknesses: the gentleness and the protectiveness of women, their care and concern.

Now, perhaps more than at any other point in history, we can see the need for women to come forward and use their special gifts and talents, and in the power of God's love, reach out and help heal our hurting and war-torn world.

The Family International's [the Family's] spiritual leader, Maria David, has this to say:

Women are generally known to be more tender and loving [than men], but this is not a weakness; this is a spiritual strength. The Lord wants us all to be that way. We all need to have the qualities of godly women, more than the qualities [of physical strength and aggression] that are generally attributed to men. ("Yes to Jesus," par. 42)

In this article, we hope to give insight into the spiritual, social, and sexual dimensions of life in the Family that have allowed our women remarkable leadership roles and equal authority with men, while protecting their right and freedom to enjoy fulfilling feminine roles as wives, mothers, and lovers.

Women in the "Revolution for Jesus"
The original membership of the Children of God (our founding movement) came largely from the ranks of the young, single, often sexually liberal counterculture of American youth of the '60s and early '70s.² This liberal-minded following proved worthy candidates, with the needed zeal and adaptability to build an entirely new Christian communal society. Under the tutelage of their founder, David Brandt Berg (1919-1994), they launched out to "win the world for Jesus." Men and women entered the movement as equals united in a common spiritual cause. However, as these single young "revolutionaries for Jesus" began to marry, male and female positions and roles became more of an issue. Some husbands were not too happy operating as equals with their wives. Some even clearly preferred to suppress their wives' gifts and talents once married, rather than be upstaged, or worse, live in the shadow of a very gifted, outgoing wife.

In early letters³ to his followers, David Berg had to address this problem of certain men not wanting to share the limelight with their wives. Although David, as the leader of the group, did at times need to play an authoritarian role, he was very considerate of the women, making sure that they were represented in every important meeting, listening to their comments and suggestions the same as to the men's. He did not approve of men squelching women, putting them down, or belittling them, but instead encouraged married men to let their wives come to the fore in all areas. Still, it took some time for the balance of responsibility to equalize in the founding years of the Family. But that it did, thanks largely to the efforts of David to encourage women at all levels, married or single, to accept and be accepted and respected in positions of responsibility and leadership.

The most outstanding example of the active role David took in empowering Family women is the years of personal training, confidence, and eventual transference of Family leadership to his wife, Maria, who started out in the movement as his personal secretary. In a tribute to female leadership, David showed the lasting influence his evangelist mother, Virginia Brandt Berg (1886-1968), had on him, as well as the great faith he had in Maria:

There are more women leaders in the world [today] than there ever have been in the world's history!-Prime ministers, presidents, governors, all kinds of women leaders. My mother was one of the early pioneers of women's leadership in the Ministry. I'm sure Maria is going to be a real flame of fire to light your way in the dark days ahead when I'm gone! ("Won't Be Long," par. 50)

Although church traditions of the time favored male domination-not only in marriage but also in the church-David was confident that in Christ men and women are equal. He believed that in God's kingdom, sexual differences are inconsequential; all that really counts is one's personal relationship with God. Even the early Christian writer and leader, Saint Paul, who insisted that the women of his era be subordinate to men in the Church, nevertheless freely conceded that in Jesus "there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28 KJV). Building on this Scripture, David wrote:

In our Homes we consider that our wives are equal [leaders] and that there's no difference in the Lord, that there's no male or female in Christ Jesus, that all are one in Christ Jesus. And therefore we consider that the mother of the Home is just as important as the father. ("Fellowship," par. 23)

When David Berg passed away in October 1994, he was fully confident that the work he founded would be wisely and lovingly continued under the spiritual leadership of his wife, Maria, who for many years had played an active leadership role. In the years immediately preceding his death, she increasingly had shouldered the responsibility for the spiritual and administrational leadership of the Family.

Maria's full leadership came as no surprise to Family members, who for many years had been prepared by David for this transfer of authority to her. The Family was already accustomed to having women in all administrative positions. Family women of many nationalities are actively and equally involved in every aspect of our work, including being equally represented in our highest executive positions worldwide. In the Family, as much as possible, we do not look at whether a person is male or female, but instead, it is the calling and election of God, the anointing of God as it rests on the individual that is recognized and respected.

Family Theology Is "Female Friendly"
We believe that the Holy Spirit, part of the Godhead Itself, is female. The Bible bears this out in Genesis, chapter one, verses 26 and 27, where God's decision to create humans is recorded. He decided to make us resemble God, and in doing so, He created a male and a female. "And God said, 'Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness.' So God created man in His Own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them." When we understand that the Holy Spirit is female, we realize that part of the ruling power of the universe is female, and thus we can deduce that, in God's eyes, male and female can and should work together in leadership roles. We also realize that God the Father, the Holy Spirit, and Their Son Jesus form a heavenly family very similar to a human family with a father, a mother, and a child.

Having this concept of the relationship between God, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus helps to give us a better perception of what a woman's role should be. The Holy Spirit is not only a wife, a mother, and a comforter, but She is also a "leader." We believe women today should be given a choice of the same variety of roles, of being not only loving wives and mothers, but also leaders in their professions, communities, churches, etc. Not only should it be a very rewarding and exciting experience for a woman to be a loving wife, and wonderful to be a mother with children, but she should also have ample opportunity to exercise and develop her leadership potential, as our women in the Family do.

Besides being leaders, Family women enjoy being women. They enjoy being sexually attractive and having natural, joyful sex. They enjoy being wives and lovers and mothers. Family women like to look attractive and feminine. Of course, more important than physical beauty is inner beauty.

David wrote: "It takes [God's] inner beauty in your heart and your life and even in your body to make you shine and radiate the happiness and the peace and the joy and the love and the beauty of spirit that God alone can give" ("Children," par. 31).

Debunking a Common Myth
Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike learn the story of how the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, were created by God and lived in a garden paradise called Eden. They were perfect and happy. Also, they were totally naked and not the least bit ashamed of it.

In the garden were two special trees, the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. God warned Adam and Eve not to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, or they would die. One day, Satan, the fallen angel and evil tempter, appeared in the form of a snake and convinced Eve that God was lying and that she would not die if she ate the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Eve believed the Devil's lies and ate the forbidden fruit, and then convinced Adam to also eat. Because Adam and Eve both ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, God banished them from the garden so that they would be prevented from eating from the Tree of Life, which would have enabled them to live forever. So it was that death, evil, sin, and disease entered the world. This event is commonly known as the Original Sin, which led to the Fall of Man.⁴

In many church traditions this Original Sin is thought to have been somehow connected to sex, with the woman as the chief culprit. This "sex was the first sin" myth has not only given sex a bad reputation, but has been the source of much mistreatment of women down through the centuries.

In the Family we do not believe that loving sex is evil, nor do we see Eve as having been a sinful seductress using sex to lead her poor innocent husband astray. Adam and Eve's sin came about as a result of their not believing what God said; unbelief, not sex, caused them to disobey. We do not believe that female sexuality was the snare that brought death and destruction into the world, or that sex is inherently evil, sinful, or a contributing factor to the downfall of humanity. To the contrary, long before sin ever entered the picture, God's first commandment to Adam and Eve was to have sex, when He said, "Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth" (Genesis 1:28 KJV).

Marriage
David Berg promoted marriage and therefore encouraged couples to marry, usually after a time of living and working closely together to be certain of their decision. Following are a few comments he made about marriage:

Marriage is the most satisfying, most strengthening, and most lasting human relationship on this earth. (MOP 667)⁵

Marriage should be as equal as possible, as sharing as possible. You should talk together, pray together, love together, discuss together, and then decide and agree together. (MOP 669)

Marriage is more than sex or friendship or even a business partnership for the Lord's work. It is the most intimate, humbling, loving, and self-sacrificial relationship between human beings in all of life. "No greater love hath any man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). This is love, real love, true love-the willingness of a husband to sacrifice himself for his wife, the eagerness of a wife to lay down her life for her husband. This is supernatural love, divine love, God's love, more than human. ("Wave," par. 62)

We feel that married couples who are part of the Family should operate in much the same way the overall Family operates, where men and women are equal. The ideal is that married partners operate as equals. Both the man and wife should "serve one another in love," as the Bible enjoins us all to do, sharing their workloads equally. Marriage is a partnership that needs to be fair, with the workload evenly distributed in love and mutual consideration for each other.

Divorce
David wrote: "Marriage is supposed to be for life, except for the most unusual circumstances, truly desperate and/or scriptural exceptions! Everything humanly possible should be done to keep couples together, both for their sake as well as for [the sake of] their children and the work of God!" ("Wave," par. 78).

Couples are strongly encouraged to make their marriages work, especially if they have children. Divorce is permitted, however, after all efforts at reconciliation fail or the marriage is no longer viable. Couples are expected to part amicably and with mutual respect, and come to a mutually acceptable decision about the care and custody of the children. The preferences of the children are to be taken into consideration when these decisions are made.

A probationary separation period is suggested before divorce, to give couples time to reconsider. Temporary separations are usually handled informally within the Family, but where couples wish to dissolve their marriages, they are required to make out a notarized and/or statutory written agreement containing the details of the custody of the children, etc. It is up to both parties to decide if they wish to be legally divorced or not.

Legal battles seldom occur except in occasional circumstances where one parent decides to leave the Family and a custody agreement cannot be reached. Since our missionary lifestyle does not lend itself to individual Family members acquiring real estate or costly personal items, property disputes common in secular divorces are largely non-issues in the Family.

Motherhood
We make a conscious effort in the Family to make motherhood as easy and happy as possible, both physically and psychologically. Motherhood, as with most challenges in life, is made easier, happier, and more rewarding when those around show good, positive, and encouraging attitudes. Good prenatal care is taught and encouraged, as young expectant mothers get training from older ones and from the voluminous Family publications on the topic. Natural deliveries in pleasant, peaceful home environments are preferred, if practical and possible.

Family women sometimes face criticism for taking a traditional, seemingly out-of-sync-with-society approach to life. To marry young and expect to have more than a couple of children is not politically correct in many modern societies. While the choice of whether or not to use birth control is left up to each individual Family member, our beliefs encourage having children, thus the average number of children for each married woman in the Family is about four, and it is not at all uncommon to find families with eight, nine, ten, or more children. With such a number of children to care for, one could wonder what aspirations beyond caring for children are realistic for Family women. One may think, "Once you have several children, doesn't that pretty much end your career as a disciple of Jesus?"

As the number of our children increased, our movement had to come to terms with the reality of having to care for children while continuing to serve God. David Berg recounted his own struggles along these lines years before, when he and his first wife, Jane, raised their four children. Jane had been very active in church work, so when she had children it seemed to her that she had lost her ministry. She wondered if she would ever preach or teach again. The mundane tasks of housework and caring for the children while her husband was often gone on evangelistic business were difficult for her to accept.

What she didn't realize at the time was how very important to God's work her care and training of her children was. Those children would someday help start a Christian work that would reach millions and circle the globe. To encourage mothers who were discovering that their children had become their major ministry, and who were tempted to lament the "loss" of their careers, David wrote:

God's gifts are God's work. [Children] are the kingdom of God. So while you're taking care of those children you're helping God's kingdom come "on earth-as it is in Heaven."-The Lord's Prayer! They are His kingdom, members of His kingdom. So are you, of course, but you're helping take care of His kingdom on earth, and you are helping it to come on earth as it is in Heaven as you take care of His children. ("Gift," par. 64-66)

Focusing on children as a new mission field and equally as important as other aspects of the work of God helped to relieve the pressured feeling of parents (and especially mothers) that they needed to do double duty-be a missionary as well as a parent. As time passed, however, a surprising fact became evident: Many of our most outstanding mothers and women leaders are those who also have many children. How is that possible? Conventional logic teaches that having children is supposed to effectively stop a mother's pursuit of personal interests and outside-the-home activities, certainly not increase them. In larger society this is usually true; however, the majority of Family members live in cooperative communities where help is available.

One great advantage members of the Family enjoy is an ever-present support group, complete with built-in nursery and trusted friends who can help care for loved ones if a man or woman's talents are needed elsewhere for a time.6 Family mothers usually also have a public ministry that often allows them to take their kids to work with them, since Christian service work makes it easier for parents to find ways to include their children. Hence, Family mothers and fathers discovered that they were still able to accomplish a lot for the Lord (and sometimes more) through, with, and around their children.

As David wrote, "I am convinced that our children and families are some of our greatest witnesses, the proofs of the pudding, the sample of the sermons, that what we have to say about living for the Lord the way we do really works!" ("Hand," par. 3).

One bonus that comes from caring for, training, and motivating children is it provides some of the best leadership and people-handling training anyone can get. In early 1996, when Family leadership prayed for guidance as to the practicality and wisdom of young couples with children taking on leadership responsibilities, Maria David gave the following counsel:

The Lord is seeking out young married couples with children to be a leadership sample. [Speaking to young couples with children:] You understand what it's like to raise children! You understand all the difficulties involved with raising children. You know their needs. You know from firsthand experience, and that makes you a good candidate for leadership.

[Speaking to Family leadership:] Sometimes you feel that young couples should not be in a position of leadership because they have too many children. But the Lord will raise up caretakers and helpers for these young leadership couples [because] it is so important that these young leaders have children so that their peers can see that life and usefulness and challenge does not end when you get married and have children.

[Having children] is not the end of a career, it just enhances your career!-And makes you more valuable for the kingdom, more gifted and more understanding. It will truly be a testimony to the Family that you do believe that God's gift [of children] is God's work, that the fruit of the womb is His reward, and that [having children] doesn't hinder you in your service, but it is a blessing! ("Gold," par. 449)

Perhaps that explains why experienced mothers in the Family often march in where others fear to tread. Part of their secret is that they have moved quickly from being a mother "in captivity" to her children and her responsibilities, to being a team captain; from saying, "Oh, my, I have so much to do," to saying, "Okay, listen up! We have a lot to do today, children." When you see a lineup of young Family singers, Family teens doing relief work at a disaster site, a Family Christmas play at a local orphanage, or a Family young person comforting someone facing death in a hospital or taking time to listen to a lonely heart in a home for the elderly, look for that busy mother not far away watching and praying and praising each one along. She has learned the secret of how to turn the "burden" of motherhood into an eternal blessing.

Parenting Responsibilities
Even in our cooperative society, having children is hard work, especially considering that we nearly always homeschool our children. In the early days of the movement, a more kibbutz-like approach prevailed regarding the care of our young children, with parenting being largely a collective concern. Raising children collectively has both advantages and disadvantages. On one hand, it increases the responsibility and love that all members feel for the children, but on the other, it can unintentionally undermine parental influence and authority. Less direct parental involvement can in turn lessen an individual's sense of personal responsibility and accountability for the care and conduct of his or her own children.

Finding the balance between parental and community care of children has been a challenge. To strengthen the parent-child bond and to give children needed time with their brothers and sisters, since 1991 each community worldwide has been required to set aside daily "parent time." It was also suggested that Family parents set aside one day a week for a "family day" with their children. Single mothers are encouraged to join with another family for parent time and family days, and single and married men are encouraged to provide father figures for any children who may not have their fathers with them.

The implementation of The Love Charter [Family Discipleship Charter] in 1995, combined with the downsizing of Family communities, has placed much of the daily care and schooling of children in the hands of the parents. According to The Charter, parents are ultimately responsible to provide a proper upbringing and education for their children, with the help of their community. The majority of Family parents dedicate a great amount of time on a daily basis to their children, teaching them God's Word, helping them with their schooling, as well as teaching them to reach out to others in our many activities oriented to helping the needy.

Single Mothers
David Berg wrote, "Every child needs both a mother and a father" ("Desertion," par. 20). Still, as in society at large, we respect the fact that this ideal is not always possible or practical, or even desired by everyone. Fortunately, our communal lifestyle provides our single parents (mostly single mothers) with all the advantages of living in an extended family where help is available.

Unlike many of their counterparts in society, single mothers in the Family receive help with the many details and responsibilities of daily life. Most of the business matters single mothers in society have to contend with are taken care of by others in the Family community. They do not have to worry about trying to find a safe, suitable, yet affordable daycare facility for their children. They do not have to leave their children in the care of people they do not personally know, and who do not know and love their children.

Living communally helps free single mothers from many of the daily chores that a mother living on her own would need to face. They do not normally come home tired from work and have to single-handedly face doing grocery shopping, house cleaning, cooking, dishes, driving, or worry about finding a babysitter on short notice.

Loneliness is not as great a problem for single mothers in the Family, as they usually have friends close by to talk to. They do not have to concern themselves with going out and trying to find a date, or some safe and suitable male companionship when they feel the need for love and comfort and even sex. Clearly, being "single" in the Family is not the same as being single in society at large. The Love Charter also makes it a moral obligation for members to care for and provide needed assistance to every single parent in a Family Home (100).

Right to Life
We acknowledge the great and eternal value God places on each human soul.-To deny a human being the right to be born and experience life-except when the mother's life is in danger-we believe is clearly wrong. Although we oppose abortion, we do not condone or support any form of violent opposition against those who believe otherwise. (We believe aborted and miscarried children continue their existence and develop in Heaven.) We are very sympathetic to expectant mothers in society who face extreme hardships because of the birth of a child, and provide counseling and help as we can. We believe much more must be done everywhere to make it easier for young mothers to keep and properly care for their babies.

Our spiritual beliefs regarding the miracle of conception are best summed up in the following by David Berg:

It is a miracle of God that conception takes place. I don't believe it just happens by accident. The spirit that that child contains is not physical! God has to cause the conception to take place that creates a new human soul by the combination of a new human body with a new human spirit. The flesh is a mere vehicle; it's a mere instrument; it's a tool. But it's the spirit that brings life and a new human soul into being, a new personality, a distinct, separate, individual personality different from anybody else in the whole world created by the hand of God and placed there in that tiny egg, along with a sperm, to become a new being, a new personality, a new human being, a new spirit, a new soul, an eternal, immortal, imperishable spirit! ("Answers," par. 6)

Showing Affection
Showing affection to others is characteristic of Family life. Being affectionate is considered to be quite different from making sexual advances. David and Maria explain the physical affection shown in Family communities as follows:

Affection is very important, kisses and cuddles and hugs, just to know you're loved; sex doesn't even enter into it. The physical contact is important, because it shows that you're loved and it helps you to feel secure. Sex isn't necessarily a sign of love, but affection is always a sign of love. That's real love, genuine love, and it can even be sacrificial love! Sex can be just a selfish thing, just because you need it and want it. But to give a person love and affection and cuddles to show that you love them, that's something that's beyond and more than and even greater than sex.-That's real love, to show you love them.

I think it's real spiritual love and affection that count the most: The real love that you show them, the concerned and loving words you say, the affectionate comfort of holding you in their arms and simply feeling you dear and close to them, to feel that somebody really loves them and cares about them. It's a tremendous blessing and a great encouragement to them, and it inspires their faith to feel that you love them and really care whether they're happy or unhappy, that someone is actually concerned about them and their feelings and their happiness! It is such a small easy way to show it by just a smile or a kind word about the Lord's love, a few affectionate pats or pecks. ("Brotherly Love," 1)

Family beliefs, lifestyle, and group safeguards greatly reduce the chances of sexual harassment being a problem. Sexual harassment can be defined as a one-sided and unwelcome sexual advance in which one person makes a habit of using his or her social or economic power or position to sexually intimidate or take sexual advantage of a weaker or more vulnerable person.

Since our job is our way of life, "employees" and "management" live together as equals, especially when considering Home leadership is elected by the Home's voting members (those age 16 and above). Any attempt by a member to ask for or offer sex in exchange for job security, power, or pay increases would be quite meaningless. Members are freer to be themselves. Showing affection and greeting members of the same or opposite sex with a friendly embrace is a social and scriptural tradition in the Family. Touching the person you are talking to is not uncommon, and such sincere and friendly expressions of affection and appreciation are, in fact, encouraged. Even if such an exchange between a man and woman does become mildly sexual in tone, if both are comfortable with it, no offense is taken.

It is completely normal and natural for men to be attracted to, desirous and appreciative of, and even expressive of their delight in the beauty of a woman, as long as this is presented in a loving and considerate manner. Overt displays of sexual affection in public are not permitted. Members are free to communicate with others and Family leadership if they feel sexually intimidated or uncomfortable. In Family communities, being sexually offensive is a serious matter, which if continued, will jeopardize the offending member's place in the Family.⁷

Our Violence-Free Lifestyle
We try to maintain harmonious home environments, free from excessive competitiveness, aggression, bullying, intimidation, or violence. Even during vigorous sports, love and consideration are stressed above winning. Playing violent video games, watching excessively violent TV shows and movies, using harsh and disrespectful language, viewing pornography, or listening to secular songs that promote violence or abuse or unloving sex are all discouraged. Differences of opinion or disagreements are to be resolved through prayer, honest communications, and counseling.

Intentional acts of violence, except for legally sanctioned use of force in self-defense, are not tolerated-especially any form of domestic violence. Any member who is violent with a spouse or children will be expelled from the Family. Since we live communally, any such offensive behavior is soon noticed. To further assure communal harmony and the health and safety of all members, restrictions are placed on alcohol consumption, and of course, any use of illegal or illicit drugs is strictly forbidden.

Boys and girls are taught to be protective of their younger brothers and sisters. Men and boys in the Family are expected to be gentle and respectful, manifesting qualities such as love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, goodness, and faith. We do not consider these godly characteristics a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength and the presence of the Holy Spirit at work in their lives. Women, for their part, are expected to not only be feminine, but to be loyal, brave, and dedicated "professional Christians," willing to "endure hardness" side by side with the men (2 Timothy 2:3-4). Some aspects of our Christian work do involve enduring discomforts, and at times, even facing significant dangers. Family women have endured such challenges equally with the men.

Women in the Workplace-Advantages of a Noncompetitive Lifestyle
In the Family, there are many cases where men work under women, just as there are cases where women work under men. In spite of differences in titles and responsibilities, members work with mutual respect and regard for the gifts, talents, experience, and opinions of each other. Having yielded our hearts to Jesus makes it easier for us to yield to one another.

Being united in a common cause as members of a unique Christian communal movement dedicated to Jesus and His message of love creates a social bond that is often missing in larger society. Family communities enjoy an atmosphere of mutual respect, trust, admiration, and interdependence that transcends age and gender differences. Young and old, married or single, male or female are frequently called upon to share their different viewpoints and opinions on matters. Each person is needed. Each contributes his or her particular skill, knowledge, or ability to help the group function and survive.

When humility abounds, all can work together. When there is a need, people can call upon others for help. This is what we refer to as "teamworking." No man is complete in himself. No woman is complete in herself. The Lord has made it this way so we all must work together as a team in unity, as God Himself does with the Holy Spirit and Jesus for the good of His creation.

Our social structure is based on cooperation, sacrificial love, and helping and sharing with others. Just as the universe is run by the heavenly teamwork of the Trinity, we find it is best to have our Homes overseen by at least three elected leaders, who must learn to blend their talents and abilities and work as a partnership, in love, unity, and mutual respect. Even Maria, who holds the most senior title in Family leadership, works in teamwork and in counsel with those who help her in this responsibility. Leadership in the Family is to be more a position of guiding than controlling, commanding, or domineering.

In Family communities, excessive competition is not considered a virtue, nor is it a workplace motivator. Likewise, job or gender inequality is considered counterproductive and has little ground to develop. Family women do not have to compete with men for key jobs, positions, or needed salary increases, since they are equal "shareholders and owners" and run the "company" just as much as the men. In the absence of pay differences, of having to meet certain prerequisites for employment, or of disparities in job status, people are freer to gravitate to the jobs they have the greatest interest in and where the greatest need is. Individual interest, initiative, and ability are greater determinants of job and position in the Family than gender.

In the Family, age, education, and gender do not greatly affect one's job success, as is often the case in secular society. Our principal task is to preach the Gospel, and this goal can be just as readily accomplished by a woman as by a man; even our young people can succeed in our primary work, in some cases more effectively than adults. We do have many other jobs and individual ministries, but we consider these secondary and supportive to our central purpose. Some jobs may seem more personally appealing or interesting, but over all, the social status and spiritual value associated with different jobs in the Family (e.g., cooking, childcare, business, writing, etc.) remains about the same.

Within our communities we are less directly affected by wage or income differences than those in secular society. Our incomes are pooled, unless someone takes the time to raise finances for a special personal need. Individuals may receive spending money or funds to purchase certain needs, but generally purchases are made and bills paid collectively, and any funds received are not distributed in the form of wages to individuals. Because everyone receives about the same benefits-and all share his or her belongings and work voluntarily-members of a Home all live and operate at about the same social and economic level (Acts 2:44-45; 4:34-35). Even those who bear greater responsibility, undertake more difficult or technical jobs, or have seniority because of their experience or time in the Family, are not usually materially advantaged. No matter how prestigious one's job may be, no matter what gender, he or she usually drives in the same car, sits at the same table, eats the same food, and lives in the same house as every other member of his or her Family community.

Very few jobs in the Family are considered the exclusive domain of either gender. Men often work in home maintenance, dishes, cooking, or childcare. Of course, more males than females do the heavy physical work, just as more females than males choose to work with children. The social effect of this community partnership or team approach to work, combined with the overall sense of job equality, can hardly be stressed enough to those trying to understand life for women in the Family. As David Berg put it:

The babies and children are not just woman's work! They used to have an old song, "Let the women do the work, do the work, do the work!"-Well, that's not supposed to be true in our Family. We're all supposed to have our jobs, that's true, and the old-fashioned idea was that inside [at home] work is for the women, outside work is for the men.

In the Family we're supposed to be willing to do whatever needs to be done, whether it's inside or outside, or cooking, washing dishes or taking care of babies or children or whatever needs to be done. If you have real love for the Lord and each other and the children, you will do whatever needs to be done. ("Gift," pars. 22-23)

A Personal Message from Maria
When talking about equal opportunity or equal rights for men and women, the real question that is often on our minds, whether we readily admit it or not, is, "Who is in charge?" Competition, pride, jealousy, and discontent haunt many peoples' lives today. What a relief it would be if in every workplace-and in our personal lives-we could simply recognize each others' talents, skills, and strengths, and without regard for gender, do the best we can to make sure each person is in the position where he or she will be happy and challenged and able to accomplish the most for the advancement of whatever company, organization, or church we're involved with. "But," you're probably saying, "that's more easily said than done." You're right!

People everywhere yearn to be liberated. The quest for freedom is not unique to women. Men, too, long for liberation. But where can one find it?-The secret to freedom is not in men dominating women or in women dominating men, but in everyone working together. We believe this is what not only true Christianity, but society at large, should be like-men and women working together in harmony, united, blended together in God's love, all fulfilling their roles, all esteeming the other person better than themselves, all serving one another in humility.

This to you might seem a very unrealistic dream, a utopia that could never exist on this earth. Given the common faults in human nature, how in the world can we get around such things as contention, jealousies, divisiveness, fierce competition, dog-eat-dog backstabbing, etc.?

In today's world many have seen the resources and talents of women being unexplored, underdeveloped, neglected, and unused. Some have sought to remedy this problem by force, by legislation, even by domination, and in so doing, they have perverted the grace and beauty that God has bestowed upon women. We believe God has a way that is superior to this. To begin with, it might surprise you to know that God doesn't extol the strength of an individual, whether male or female. For the strength of the individual is very limited, but the greater strength, the greater anointing, the greater liberation, the greater love, and the greater gifts come from above, from God. Therefore those who are most liberated, whether they be male or female, are those who look to the Lord and depend on Him and call on Him for their strength.

When you bow in surrender to Jesus Christ, you take His Spirit into your heart, into your life, into your mind. And as you yield and surrender more and more to Him, you blossom and grow. Then the talents and gifts that God has given you are multiplied many times over, so that you are not as you once were. You become a new person in Him, not with the strength of the flesh, but with the beauty and power and anointing of the Holy Spirit. Even if you are a weak vessel with no strength of your own, He can empower you with great gifts. This is true of both men and women of God.

When you yield to the Lord, His power will empower you. This is the power of surrender. When you give your life to Him fully, He takes over. You've surrendered, and in a sense you've become immersed in Him, giving yourself to Him. Your yieldedness and meekness become powerful, because they make room for the Lord's Spirit in you. He is the One working in you and through you. It's not that you become powerful in yourself; His power works in you.

God's Spirit can work through both women and men. It allows women to have the faith to exercise their gifts and talents, and men to have the faith to recognize and appreciate those gifts and talents, without feeling threatened. Unfortunately, some women have used their womanly powers for their own benefit, for ugly domination. They have used their gifts in cruel ways, instead of loving ways. But when women's strengths and gifts are manifested by allowing God's Spirit to work through them, they uplift, they encourage, they show love.

The key to true liberation is not seeking domination or power or having one gender ruling over the other, but it is each one lifting up the other, the man helping the woman, and the woman helping the man, and each one giving what he or she is able to give. The solution is unselfishness and sacrifice on both sides, mutual acceptance of the gifts and talents of the other, mutual recognition of God's Spirit in each person.

The more we yield to God's Spirit, the more we discover there need not be a differentiation between the sexes. For the Lord is in all of us who have received Him, and He is empowering all of us and working through all of us; and as we grow closer to Him, we will see more and more of His Spirit in each other. We will not think, This is the opinion of a woman, or This is the opinion of a man, but we will see God's Spirit at work through that person.

Love, respect, trust, mutual admiration, and appreciation for each other come from God, especially when we yield to Him and love Him and worship Him. If you seek to have these fruits in your life, you first must come to Jesus, and He will empower you and bless you with the fruits of His Spirit, and with a true understanding of all the gifts and talents that He has bestowed upon His men and His women. You can't do this on your own. You need Jesus' help.

All of us who believe in and have received Jesus are His Bride, collectively and individually. He is our Husband, and He wants us all to respect and love Him, as a woman would her husband. Being yielded to Jesus as our Husband helps us to yield to each other and respect each other. He is the only one who can give us sufficient love and respect for one another-regardless of our gender-and start us down the path that leads to true liberating equality.

Conclusion
In this modern era, it is easy to lose sight of hope when such a preponderance of negative forces is at work, robbing humanity of peace, love, and happiness. The love between men and women seems to be growing colder, and the exchange of human affection, even between members of one's own family, friends, fellow workers, caregivers, and children, is often withheld because of selfishness, hurt, or fear. Sadder still is the aching void of human hearts, which love could fill and where love could abound, but where instead grows bitterness, loneliness, low self-esteem, frustration, anger, and violence. Yet all the while, a world of wonderful marriages; rewarding family life; the joys of motherhood; warm friendships; fulfilling jobs in caring places of work; and safe, healthy, wholesome environments for our children could be ours if we would just unite in the love of God and make it so.

God promises that there is a better way and a much brighter day just beyond the horizon of these troubled times. But you don't have to wait! You can let His love pour into your life and fill your heart and brighten your corner of the world this very moment. Simply pause for a moment of reflection and pray this little prayer:

Jesus, please come into my life, forgive me for my sins, fill me with Your light and love, and empower me with the Spirit of God. Show me Your solutions to my problems, and give me Your strength and courage to face this day, and do what I can to help others. Amen.

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Footnotes
¹ All Scripture quoted is from the New King James Version of the Bible unless otherwise specified.

² What eventually became known as the Family International began when our founder, David Berg, began sharing the good news of God's love with the disillusioned youth of America's hippie counterculture. His original following soon grew into the movement known as the Children of God (COG), which played a significant role in the "Jesus Revolution" of the time. In early 1978 the Children of God was dissolved, and the Family of Love emerged with a new organizational structure. The Family of Love is now known simply as the Family or the Family International. We follow a communal lifestyle patterned after that of the earliest Christians, sharing our material possessions, resources, and responsibilities (Acts 2:44-45).

³ David Berg, whose pen name at the time was "Moses David," communicated with his followers through letters of inspiration and counsel, which became known as "MO Letters" or "MLs."

⁴ See Genesis chapter 3 ; 2 Corinthians 11:3.

⁵ The MOP is a compilation of short quotes taken from a wide variety of sources and authors.

⁶ See the Family's position paper "Children in the Family: Their Care, Education, Protection, and Rights" for further details.

⁷ See the Family's policy statement "Beliefs and Conduct Regarding Relationships and Sexuality" for further details.

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Works Cited
Berg, David. "A Wonderful Wave of Worldwide Witnessing." Good News Feb. 1972.

---. "Answers to Your Questions. No. 8." Good News July 1983.

---. "Desertion!" Good News June 1981.

---. "Fellowship Revolution!, The" Good News Apr. 1981.

---. "God's Gift Is God's Work. Part 3." Good News Aug. 1978.

---. "It Won't Be Long Now!" Good News Jan. 1983.

---. "What Is That in Thy Hand?" Good News Oct. 1974.

---. "Who Are Heaven's Children?" Good News Oct. 1985.

Berg, David and Maria David. "Let Brotherly (& Sisterly) Love Continue!" Family Specials Magazine July 1993.

David, Maria. "Go for the Gold" Good News Sep. 1995.

---. "Just Say Yes to Jesus!" Good News Feb. 1995.

Family, The. Love Charter, The. Bangkok: World Services, 1998.

MOP, The. 2 vols. Comp. Maria David. Madrid: Closas-Orcoyen, S.L., 1984.

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What Is the Family International?
The Family International (formerly known as the Children of God) is a fellowship of Christian communities with members in over 100 countries. Our current membership numbers about 8,500 full-time members and 7,000 associates.

The Family has four main objectives:

1. To share with others the life-giving message of love, hope, and salvation found in God's Word, conveying the joys of knowing Jesus as a personal Savior.

2. To ensure that each of our children receives a godly upbringing in the best possible environment we can provide.

3. To produce and distribute a wide selection of devotional, inspirational, and educational materials.

4. To actively assist the needy through producing and performing inspirational, dramatic, and musical benefits; serving as volunteers in disaster relief; and seeking ways to provide comfort and material assistance for the disadvantaged.

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If you have any questions or comments, we invite you to contact us at one of the following addresses:

Web site: www.thefamily.org

The Family International
PMB 102
2020 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington, D.C. 20006-1846
USA

Call in the USA at:
1 (800) 4-A-FAMILY [1 (800) 423-3264], or
1 (202) 298-0838
E-mail: publicaffairs@thefamily.org

The Family International
Maxet House
Liverpool Road
Luton, LU1 1RS
England
E-mail: info@thefamilyeurope.org

("Women in the Family," based on a paper presented at the annual conference of the Society for the Scientific Study of Religion in October 1995, was first published April 1996 and updated January 2004.)
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Copyright © 2004 by The Family International