Second Generation Former Members and the Family International's Ministry of Reconciliation
Second Generation Former Members and the Family International's Ministry of Reconciliation |
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Policy Statement from the Family International
The Family International [the Family], formerly known as the Children of God, is a fellowship of independent, self-governing Christian missionaries dedicated to preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ around the world. Members have received Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and have been baptized with the Holy Spirit and live and work together in small communities called Homes. The Family, founded by David Brandt Berg (1919-1994) in Southern California during the late '60s, has expanded into an international missionary fellowship located in over 100 countries around the world.
As the movement has matured, parents serving as missionaries within the Family have encountered a scenario not unfamiliar to that encountered by mainstream denomination missionary parents. After having devoted years of their lives to missionary work, often in developing countries, parents have had to come to the realization, as their children reached maturity, that some would decide not to become missionaries and would instead choose a lifestyle and/or a belief system different from their own.
Children of Family members raised in missionary communities are taught their parents' religious beliefs, and participate in their parents' mission work and lifestyle. As these children come of age, some manifest a desire to experiment with other lifestyles or opt for secular careers rather than that of a missionary.
This desire was somewhat unexpected for many Family parents, as their hopes and expectations were that their children would follow in their footsteps in a life devoted to serving God and their fellow man. However, over the past ten years it has become increasingly evident that a number of the Family's second generation are inclined to pursue other careers. The Love Charter [for Family disciples] (first published in 1995), as well as several internal publications, advise parents to assume responsibility for assisting their children through what can be a difficult transition from a close, nurturing, faith-based support system to an independent secular lifestyle (24).1
Most second generation adults who have opted to pursue secular lifestyles and careers continue to love and respect their parents and have cordial relations with current Family members, despite the different paths they have chosen. However, a vocal minority of former members has openly declared that their parents had no right to raise them according to their parents' religious convictions and mores, and have publicly stated their intent to harm the Family and members within the organization. (Over half of our full-time membership comprises minors below 18 years of age.) This has been a source of anguish and consternation to their parents, who continue to love and support their grown children and wish them success and happiness in their chosen lifestyles and careers.
In 1994, some Family leadership began to meet with former members in their area in a united effort to bring greater understanding between those in the Family and those who had left. Later that year, the Family initiated a concerted reconciliation process to attempt to resolve differences with former members who held grievances either from their time in the Family or from the lack of communication with Family members after they departed.
In "An Open Letter to All Current and Former Family Members," the Family officially apologized to former members for any negligence in failing to maintain contact with them and for any experiences they had in the Family that they felt were negative. In 1994 and 1995, in further open letters to former members and in Maria David's "An Answer to Him That Asketh," Family leadership officially addressed concerns in regard to any questionable past actions regarding discipline, education, or sexual misconduct that any may have undergone.2 These apologies were published and later republished in official Family publications over the years.
In July 2002, the commitment of members of the Family to reconciliation was reaffirmed for the record in an open letter posted on a former member website by a Family representative:
As you're very aware from our former correspondence, we respect the right of former members to express their feelings and opinions and debate and discuss issues on forums such as your website. Our sincere wish for those who were once part of the Family is that they can lead constructive, fulfilling lives and progress to the new goals they set for themselves once they decide they no longer wish to make serving the Lord with the Family their lifetime career. Our prayer is for reconciliation and mutual respect in the path that each one has chosen of their own free will. (Borowick)
The Family's ministry of reconciliation continues to be an important aspect of the work, as we endeavor to reach out to our former members, inviting them to renew contact and extending apologies for any past wrongs, when needed. We are grateful for their time and service while in the Family, and we respect their decision to move on to another career.
It is our prayer that former Family members will respect our lawful rights as current Family members to practice our religion, carry out our missionary activities, and educate our children according to our religious convictions in the same manner that we respect others' rights to freely choose their own lifestyles and pursue their personal interests.
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Footnotes
1 The Love Charter reads: "If one or more of your minor children decide that they no longer wish to be in the Family and live with you in a Charter Home, then you could try to help them get relocated with others who will provide adequate care for them, such as with relatives, if possible. Or, they can remain with you in a Charter Home, providing they follow the stipulations outlined in
'Definition of a Charter Home,' C.3., page 86. If they are old enough to strike out on their own, you should assist them in getting set up in a proper situation outside a Family Home. If they choose, they may also remain in the Home temporarily, in order to make the transition as smooth as possible" (24).
A third option is that one or both parents may want to take a leave of absence from their full-time duties in order to further assist their children getting set up.
2 In 1986 a strict policy was initiated to protect minors from sexual abuse. This policy was underlined in 1989; and expanded further in the early 1990s to include all forms of abuse, whether physical, emotional, educational, or psychological. These actions have been successful, as confirmed by independent studies and courts around the world.
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Works Cited
Borowick, Claire. "Open Letter." July 2002.
David, Maria. "An Answer to Him That Asketh." Good News Sep. 1995.
David, Maria, and Peter Amsterdam. "An Open Letter to All Current and Former Family Members." Bangkok: World Services, 1996.
Family, The. "Open Letter from the Family." Bangkok: World Services, 1994.
---. "Open Letter to All Former Members of the Children of God/the Family." Bangkok: World Services, 1995.
---. Love Charter, The. Bangkok: World Services, 1998.
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What Is the Family International?
The Family International (formerly known as the Children of God) is a fellowship
of Christian communities with members in over 100 countries. Our current
membership numbers about 8,500 full-time members and 7,000 associates.
The Family has four main objectives:
If you have any questions or comments, we invite you to contact us at one of the following addresses:
Web site: www.thefamily.org
The Family International
PMB 102
2020 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington, D.C. 20006-1846
USA
Call in the USA at:
1 (800) 4-A-FAMILY [1 (800) 423-3264], or
1 (202) 298-0838
E-mail: publicaffairs@thefamily.org
The Family International
Maxet House
Liverpool Road
Luton, LU1 1RS
England
E-mail: info@thefamilyeurope.org
Copyright © 2004 by The Family International