Children in the Family International

DossierHome

Their Care, Education, Protection, and Rights

One of the highest priorities of the Family International [the Family] is to ensure that our members' children residing within our communities receive a high standard of care, protection, education, socialization, and recreation. Our profound respect for children-and attention to their proper care and upbringing-is not only an integral part of our religious belief and practice, but is central to our communal lifestyle.

As a minority religious movement, we have been the object of much interest and scrutiny concerning the upbringing of our children. Our commitment to a communal lifestyle, our religious convictions, as well as our preference for home-based education has raised the question as to whether such a novel environment is adequate for the full development of our children. After having observed children in the Family, it is the studied opinion of numerous academics and child development professionals in a range of countries that our children enjoy a positive environment, one that is conducive to a proper upbringing.

The UN's Convention on the Rights of the Child supports the right of children to be brought up within their religious faith and community:

In those States in which ethnic, religious, or other minorities or persons of indigenous origin exist, a child belonging to such a minority or who is indigenous shall not be denied the right, in community with other members of his or her group, to enjoy his or her own culture, to profess and practice his or her own religion, or to use his or her own language (Article 30).

Approximately half the population of the Family is children and teenagers; therefore much of our community life, organization, rules, and standards are dedicated to providing them with an environment that will ensure a high standard of care and upbringing. In 1995 the Family produced The Love Charter, a 400-page document that codifies the basic beliefs and principles that Family member communities adhere to. A significant portion of this document is dedicated to outlining the rights of children and parents. The Charter makes it clear that it is the responsibility of the parents and the communities in which they reside to provide a loving and safe environment for all children being raised in the Family.

The Heritage and Home Life of Our Children
As Christians, we pattern our cooperative lifestyle after that of the Early Church, in which "all that believed were together, and had all things in common" (Acts 2:44 NKJV). Unlike most pastors, evangelists, mission workers, and aid workers, we serve the Lord full time as a community, thus our children grow up in a community dedicated to Christian service. In the process of establishing functioning communities based on the pattern of the original Christian church, we have discovered a wealth of social, spiritual, and personal benefits.

Children in our communities (also known as "Homes") are cherished as priceless gifts from God, given to their parents to love, care for, and raise in a godly manner. Primary responsibility for the welfare of children rests with their parents, but because of our faith and cooperative lifestyle, the raising of children in the Family is also a community affair, as parents often share the child-rearing duties with others in the Home. Each Home has a responsibility to provide an environment where both the parents as individuals and the Home as a group can meet the physical, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual needs of their children.

This unique cooperative lifestyle provides our children with the benefits of not only strong nuclear family ties, but also additional care, assistance, and moral and spiritual support from the members of the communities they live in. Much of society once enjoyed similar benefits in clans, tribes, or neighborly communities. In today's society these benefits are often lost as one or both parents often work away from the home, and children live in a climate of increasing economic distress, materialism, mistrust, fear, indifference, and the general lack of time or opportunity to form familial friendships and strong community bonds.

The importance of teaching our lifestyle and manner of serving God to our children is further reinforced by the fact that modern society has, in our view, become extremely secular and humanistic. Its emphasis on materialism, its dogmatic approach to evolutionary teachings, its moral abandonment, and its deepening unresolved social problems are cause of great concern, not only to ourselves, but also to millions of people of many religions and cultures throughout the world.

Education of Our Children
It is our belief that it is our God-given right and parental duty as dedicated Christians to give our children a godly education, bringing them up in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). We translate this into practical terms by providing our children with a multifaceted education, which includes a full range of academic subjects, Christian and ministerial instruction, practical vocational training, and preparation in physical and social skills. Our Christian ministry and lifestyle help provide an ideal home-based learning environment in which to accomplish these educational objectives.

Family communities strive to ensure that each child receives a sound age-appropriate scholastic and vocational education, earning him or her a high school diploma. Through homeschooling, our children can receive caring, concerned teaching and supervision in accordance with our Christian values. Usually one or both parents are involved in the homeschooling of their children. The involvement of many Family parents in teaching ensures that they have a greater say in the education and training of their children than parents who send their children to public or private schools.

Family children's scholastic curriculum combines a variety of teaching materials, videos, and computer programs. Our in-house homeschool curriculum was first published in 1981 in a series of books known as The Childcare Handbooks, and later The Family Home Schooling Program (1988), The Teachers Planner (1992), and the Christian Vocational College (the Family's high school and vocational college program, which began in 1996). In addition, many Family members also make use of internationally recognized homeschooling curriculums such as A Beka, ACE, CLE, and others. Since its founding, the Family has also specialized in early childhood education, producing a number of in-house publications, books, Christian storybooks, educational videos, and teaching aids. While audio-visual materials are used regularly, indiscriminate television viewing is discouraged within our communities to avoid it becoming an overwhelming and potentially negative influence in our children's education.

The level of literacy of the children in our fellowships is high. The children's studies include language arts, mathematics, history, geography, social studies, science, foreign languages, local and international current events, physical education, health, and life skills. Character building, decision making, problem solving, and communicating are also a significant part of their education.

Though we believe a home-based education is superior to an institutional one, and we actively encourage homeschooling, according to the Family's "Charter of Responsibilities and Rights," parents are free to employ outside tutors or send their children to public or private schools, if they wish to do so or are unable to provide an adequate education within their Home (79-80, 99). Each child has the right to receive an adequate education, whether by homeschooling, outside tutor, or formal school, and it is the responsibility of the parents and the Home to ensure he or she does receive it.

Upon completing their high school education, teens and young adults may take Christian Vocational College (CVC) courses, offering extensive training in over 50 subject areas and vocations, or outside courses as needed or desired. Many also choose to certify their home schooling via secular examinations. As a result of Family-based education, many Family young people have achieved superior scores in GED exams (U.S. high school equivalency exam).

Should they wish to pursue secular careers, or post-secondary academic studies, they are free to do so. Since the missionary lifestyle of full-time Family disciples requires significant personal commitment as well as ongoing specialized training, such secular goals and pursuits would often be incompatible with Family disciple goals and activities and thus would be best achieved outside our communities.

Religious Upbringing
In accordance with our religious convictions, we place God and His Word at the center of a child's life as well as his education. What a child studies, as well as his behavior, attitudes, and developing beliefs, all play a vital role in forming his relationship with God, which will in turn have eternal effects and consequences both for himself and those he influences throughout his life. We feel that any educational undertakings, courses, subjects, learning environments, influences, or teachings that impede, contradict, or detract from this essential Christian education and development are to be avoided.

We are morally obligated and bound by Scripture to train our children. For this reason we encourage our Homes and parents to provide their children with positive home-study learning environments, which encourage each child to discover his or her unique gifts, talents, and abilities, to come to know God in a deep and personal way, and to develop qualities in his or her life that reflect our Christian beliefs. "All thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children" (Isaiah 54:13).

Socialization
Living in a missionary community requires high levels of sophistication in socialization, both taught and learned through experience. Rules of conduct, fair play, consideration for others, interaction with others, expressing love and concern, being a positive influence, cooperating and working together with others, having a positive attitude toward those of other races or social strata, sharing responsibilities, consideration, and a host of other social skills must be refined and adhered to in order for those in a close-knit cooperative lifestyle such as ours to be able to exist and continue to prosper in peace and harmony together.

As a multiracial fellowship composed of members from over 100 nationalities, children in our Homes socialize with others from many parts of the world. Our children are not confined in their social life to the members of just one society, culture, or nation. This results in our children developing a broader view of the world at large, and a greater understanding of other nationalities and cultures than is found in the average child.

Children often accompany their parents to visit and minister to others of all ages, racial backgrounds, and social classes throughout the surrounding community. We attend social functions, visit old folks homes, orphanages, and the shacks and shanties of the poor. Our children also have opportunities to interact with other young people their own age outside our communities, whether through sports events, community outings, interaction with neighbors, or visits with relatives. These varied experiences result in a high level of socialization and depth of understanding, care, and concern for others.

We wholeheartedly agree with sincere Christians and other concerned religious parents who carefully monitor the moral quality of the peer involvement and socialization to which their children are exposed. We strongly disagree with the policy of dumping children indiscriminately into a big common community pot for a "socialization" experience-especially when we know that the social waters there are often untreated, unfiltered, unsafe, and highly polluted by disrespect, lack of religious conviction, and lack of discipline. This is not to mention the more commonly identified social cancers of drugs, alcohol, sexual problems and perversions, violence, bullying, gangs, social cliques, crime, shootings, and vicious competition.

Health and Medical Care
We believe that divine healing is a privilege available to all who believe in Jesus. The decision, however, to avail oneself of that privilege is a personal matter between the individual and God, according to his or her personal faith. When it comes to medical matters, it is entirely up to the individual in our Family whether to trust God alone for healing or to seek medical help.

Medical decisions regarding children are the responsibility of the parents. The Family's Charter requires that medical attention be made available to members that desire it. Family communities are expected to provide for all needed medical care, eye and dental checkups, and in the case of children, the parents are ultimately responsible to see that this is taken care of (68,83,114).

We consider the physical health and needs of our children of major importance. Good health and a proper, balanced diet are very important factors in a child's growth, and our children learn good health and hygiene habits from early childhood. The Family's Charter outlines the need for sufficient rest, daily vigorous exercise, and a well-balanced diet with limitations on sweets and junk food. We are also a drug- and tobacco-free society, and alcohol consumption (for those of legal age) is kept to moderate levels (248-254, 272).

Child Discipline
Family Homes are expected to provide a loving, happy, secure environment for their children, making sure that their physical, spiritual, and emotional needs are met. We believe that good training helps eliminate the need for much correctional discipline. Our goal is happy, well-adjusted, self-disciplined children who want to do the right thing. Parents, or those they appoint to care for their children in their temporary absence, are the main persons responsible for the conduct and disciplining of their children. Specific guidelines regarding child discipline are enforced in our communities to ensure that no over-disciplining or abuse of any sort takes place. These guidelines are found in a publication entitled "Family Discipline Guidelines," a summary of which is appended to the Family's Love Charter (247,406-409). The main points of these guidelines are as follows:

* All discipline should be age-appropriate, proportionate to the offense, and reasonable in all circumstances. It should be given in love and well balanced with encouragement. We believe that children should never be disciplined harshly or in anger, and that corporal punishment should only be used as a last resort after all else has been tried. Corporal punishment (correctional taps, swats, or spankings) is usually reserved for situations when a child has put himself or others at serious risk of harm or has been seriously disobedient. In a country where corporal punishment is not allowed, Family members are advised to comply with these laws.

* Each community is required by the Family's Love Charter to decide their Home's disciplinary standard within the boundaries set by the "Family Discipline Guidelines." It is our belief that teaching our children to love God and others, which instills in them a desire to do what is right and pleasing to Him and others, is the best education in good conduct that they could receive.

Preparing Our Children for Adulthood
In January 1993 it came to the attention of Family leadership that many of our teens and young adults had questions about what role they would play in the future of the Family. Comments from young people around the world were compiled and published for our members. This publication, which was entitled "The Personal Encouragement Revolution," presented a challenge to Family parents and adults to make way for our older teens and young adults, so that they could assume roles of greater responsibility within the Homes, including positions of leadership side by side with adults. This resulted in a fresh infusion of inspiration and ideas from Family youth, which brought about many positive changes as they were incorporated into Family lifestyle. Since that time, second-generation members have been merged into all levels of Family leadership, often sharing responsibilities on an equal basis with their older co-workers.

We love our children dearly and pray that they too will be called by the Lord to serve Him as we do. For our part, we believe it's our obligation to give our children the best care, moral training, and personal example we can while they are young. However, it is up to them as they get older to choose whether they wish to devote their lives to serving God in the Family or pursue careers outside the Family.

In general, young people (of legal age) who have chosen to leave the Family have successfully integrated into formal schooling and most have done well scholastically and socially or in the career of their choosing. Should young people decide to leave the Family, their parents are expected to assist them to the best of their ability in finding suitable accommodations, helping them to enroll for further education, or assisting them in finding employment, etc. (Charter 24). We believe that as parents we should do what we can to make their transition as smooth as possible, unconditionally extending to them our supportive love and prayers.

Age-Appropriate Sex Education
We believe that in order to prepare our children for adulthood they should receive age-appropriate education about sex, reproduction, personal relationships, and marriage.

We attempt to instill in our senior adolescents (those over 16 years of age) a sense of responsibility regarding sexual relations. Once they are of legal age to make decisions as to relationships and sexual activity, as outlined in the Family's Charter 1, they will need to take responsibility for the possible consequences of their actions, such as pregnancy (275-304). Our members may use birth control if they wish, or refrain from intercourse to prevent conception. We help our young people make informed choices on these subjects. Both partners in a sexual liaison are expected to agree together beforehand as to the extent of their sexual interaction, and what they would do should a pregnancy result. We are opposed to abortion. Marriage is promoted as the ideal relationship.

Open, honest communication with parents or other responsible adult counselors is encouraged, and consequently, young people have access to guidance on sex and relationships. In trying to help our teenagers make considerate, responsible decisions, parents of teenagers in the Family face the same challenges as parents worldwide. However, we have discovered that a natural, open attitude toward sexuality can help our teenagers avoid the excesses typical of adolescence.

Ensuring the Safety and Protection of Our Children
In order to ensure the protection of our children, a number of clauses were included in the Family's Charter explicitly for the purpose of safeguarding children. Clear lines are drawn as to what is appropriate behavior with children and what is clearly not accepted, for which offenders face excommunication (expulsion from our fellowship) (67,78,234-35). Education is provided to children and teenagers regarding abusive behavior, and they are admonished to report any problematic incidents to their parents and caretakers.

Our members are obligated to report if they suspect or observe any action that could be harmful to a child. The Family's Love Charter also clearly states that parents are "responsible to protect their children from all forms of abuse-sexual, physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, or psychological" (67). As such, parents are responsible to provide their children with a suitable environment to grow up in, as well as taking appropriate action if the rights of their children are infringed upon in any way.

Parental Responsibility
Although the Family is a communal group, the primary responsibility and final decisions regarding the welfare of children rest with their parents. Nuclear family ties are nurtured and maintained, even after children are grown, have moved away, and are starting families of their own. Thus, we now have three "generations" in the Family: members who have joined the Family, their children, and in some cases, their grandchildren.

All members of a Family Home share responsibility in making sure that the children in the Home are raised in a godly manner, have all of their needs met, are protected from all forms of abuse, receive a proper education, and most of all, are loved. However, it is ultimately the parents' responsibility to ensure their children's well-being. If parents for any reason are unable to do this in the community where they currently reside, they are free to initiate changes in the Home, move to a different Home, or start a new community. Their children's welfare and well-being should be a preeminent concern.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. (Psalm 127:3-4 KJV)

* * *

Footnotes:
1 Because our Fellowship is multinational and multicultural, Family guidelines for permitted age-appropriate sexual activity have been standardized according to the laws in the majority of countries where our members reside. Infraction of Family policies that protect minors from any form of abuse is categorically forbidden and grounds for excommunication. Members are expected to take into account the sensitivities of the cultures, in addition to the laws, of the particular nations in which they live (Charter xx, 94).

* * *

Works Cited
"Convention on the Rights of the Child." United Nations General Assembly resolution 44/25. 20 Nov. 1989 http://www.unicef.org/crc/crc.htm.

David, Maria. "The 'PER!' Personal Encouragement Revolution," Good News Mar. 1993.

Family, The. Childcare Handbook. 3 vols. Madrid: Closas-Orcoyen, S.L., 1982.

---. Christian Vocational College Program of Studies. Bangkok: World Services, 1996.

---. CVC Handbook 2000, The. Bangkok: World Services, 1999.

---. Family Home Schooling Program, The. Bangkok: World Services, 1989.

---. Love Charter, The. Bangkok: World Services, 1998.

---. Teachers Planner. Bangkok: World Services, 1989.

---. Teaching and Activity Guide. Bangkok: World Services, 1997.

* * *

What Is the Family International?
The Family International (formerly known as the Children of God) is a fellowship of Christian communities with members in over 100 countries. Our current membership numbers about 8,500 full-time members and 7,000 associates.

The Family has four main objectives:

  1. To share with others the life-giving message of love, hope, and salvation found in God's Word, conveying the joys of knowing Jesus as a personal Savior.

  2. To ensure that each of our children receives a godly upbringing in the best possible environment we can provide.

  3. To produce and distribute a wide selection of devotional, inspirational, and educational materials.

  4. To actively assist the needy through producing and performing inspirational, dramatic, and musical benefits; serving as volunteers in disaster relief; and seeking ways to provide comfort and material assistance for the disadvantaged.

* * *

If you have any questions or comments, we invite you to contact us at one of the following addresses:

Web site: www.thefamily.org

The Family International
PMB 102
2020 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington, D.C. 20006-1846
USA

Call in the USA at:
1 (800) 4-A-FAMILY [1 (800) 423-3264], or
1 (202) 298-0838
E-mail: publicaffairs@thefamily.org

The Family International
Maxet House
Liverpool Road
Luton, LU1 1RS
England
E-mail: info@thefamilyeurope.org

ST026-0401
Copyright © 2004 by The Family International